Mature Audience Only

Since I’m constantly harassed or in the spotlight for my decisions on family size and practicing Natural Family Planning (NFP), I’m gonna share!  If you think talking about God, intimacy and birth control is TMI, you may want to skip this post.  J

I’m about to let it all out!

So here are my thoughts on contraception/sterilization.  Keep in mind that I haven’t had any complications during pregnancy and childbirth and I’m very healthy.  I’m not writing to pass judgment on people who think differently than I do.  I’m simply explaining my mind for those who don’t understand where I come from – and want to!  J

Raising a large family is HARD!!!  Have I ever wanted to throw my hands up in the air and have my uterus ripped out?  OH YEAH!  It has crossed my mind many times!  Many many.  Especially on THOSE days.  Moms, you know what I mean!  So here’s my list of:

Reasons to sterilize

·         Lose weight and keep it off

·         Sleep

·         Quiet

·         Time alone

·         Clean house

·         Ability to focus

·         Retirement plans

·         Light at the end of the diaper-bottle-carseat-stroller-big teal, purple/yellow toys-cheerio mess-sticky house tunnel!

·         Savings $$$

·         Sitting through church (etc.) without distraction

·         Get rude people and their constant questions off my back

·         Remove that occasional doubt caused by people who constantly tell me I’m irresponsible…hurting my other children…selfish…crazy…stupid…etc. because I’ve chosen to remain the way I was created.

Then, as always, the mind shuts off and the heart kicks in:

Reasons to stay exactly who I am and do exactly what I’m doing

      ·         I was BLESSED with the gift of fertility – Jay too!

·         TRUST – that the Lord will provide everything we need to make this work!

·         The honor of participating in the building up of God’s family!

            ·         Intimacy with the Lord!

·         Intimacy with my husband!

·         All acts of intimacy are sacred.  Never gross, guilty or scandalous.  It’s always a Trinitarian union.  It’s never between just husband and wife…the Lord and His LIFE.GIVING.POWERS are always included.

·         Obedience.  The Lord doesn’t give life if He doesn’t want to.  Carson, JD and Holden were meant to be alive.  They wouldn’t be here if my heart hadn’t been changed.  Wow.  That’s hard to imagine.  Wow!

·         The bond and communication with my husband created by practicing NFP is beyond explanation.

·         The divorce rate is very very low among couples who practice NFP.

·         I know that my husband loves and accepts everything about me, including my fertility and my decision to embrace it.  He knows the same - I feel likewise about him!!  I LOVE that he has made these beautiful babies and I’d LOVE him just the same if the Lord had decided not to make him fertile.

·         God created natural fertility “shut off” switches in my body – a majority of each month and menopause.  I just need to really learn about my own body.  Getting to know your body can never be useless.

·         Yes I DO know what causes it!  Plain and simple…divine design!  Intimacy (during fertile time) = LIFE!  He made it work that way, not me.  Whether you contracept / sterilize or not…intimacy may lead to life.  I’ve heard many stories about conception during contraception or after vasectomy etc.  What makes me different, or STUPID and CrAzY (as some would say), is I’m open to accepting any life God chooses to create in my womb.   I won’t say “no” and I won’t try to outsmart Him.  If He chooses to flip my switch, I accept that too.  Like I’ve said in the past…creating life isn’t about fulfilling a selfish need I may have.

·         When I teach my (soon to be raging with hormones, teenage) children that intimacy is sacred and intimacy=life, they know I truly believe that. 

·         Birth control is horrible for you (it can MESS with your emotions – been there!) and can cause many health problems.

·         Sterilization is pretty much permanent and also has its risks.

·         90+ percent of birth control hormones/devices allow for conception but not implantation.  What does that mean to those of us who believe that life begins at conception?

·         I will never ever ever allow myself to fall under the spell of Margaret Sanger, the woman who revolutionized the birth control theory for the purpose of:

o   All the sex you want with whomever you choose minus “consequences”

o   Eliminating large family – anything over 2 children!

o   “Liberation” and “freedom” – FROM WHAT?  God’s will!?

o   And grossest of all, Eugenics!  Read about it.  Read about her!  Study the history of birth control and the propaganda behind it.  It's the same line of thinking as Hitler!  She might be revered by Hilary Clinton and women’s lib…but she is NOT MY HERO!

·         My children have learned to be giving and selfless.  They have to share, they have to work out their problems…I believe they’ll be well prepared for adult life.

·         AMAZING family get-togethers, now, and (God willing) in the future!

·         My children have many true friends for life.

·         I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know so many other children and families through my children’s friendships.

·         Here’s a selfish one…I have so many kiddos with such different personalities; I have learned SOOOOO much from them.  They are strong where I am weak.  I admire their strengths and I’ve become a better person because of what they have taught me.

·         If I didn’t have babies, nobody would have a reason to talk to me in the grocery store! J

·         Endless hugs and kisses XOXOXO

·         Endless opportunities to learn and grow.

·         AWESOME family campouts!!!

·         JOY – pure JOY!

There are many more reasons, but I’ll end with these 8….

  

So when I look over list #1, I think…THAT is what feels selfish to me!  How does any of that glorify God?  In my mind, in my life, it doesn’t.   Until I can find a really good (unselfish) reason to take the gift God gave me, hand it back and say, "no thank you!" I will not be able to change.  Plus, if I had:

·         SLEEP – I would be robbed of many priceless hours snuggling my babies!

·         QUIET – I would be robbed of the sounds of living, growing, learning…loving!

·         TIME ALONE – I would be lonely!

·         CLEAN HOUSE – my friends wouldn’t feel so good about themselves and their cleanliness when they come over.  J

·         FOCUS – I’d probably focus on myself!

·         MONEY – I might struggle with pride and selfishness

·         NO RUDE PEOPLE – I may have never got mad enough or defensive enough to realize just how blessed my life is.  Rudeness of others has helped to round my rough edges!

See, God knows what He’s doing after all!