Mother's Day

Mother’s Day….Oh, Mother’s Day.  Such a strange day for me.  I spent most of it in tears.  All different kinds of tears.  It started at Mass…

I cried when the choir sang Salve Regina.  I didn’t try to pinpoint exactly WHY I was crying.  Going into the Church often brings me to tears - just because.  I just figured it was the regular emotion I feel there.

At the end of Mass Father Aldrin asked all mothers to stand so he could say a blessing over us.  He spoke about the sacrificial love of a mother.  Of course, the greatest example EVER of a mother’s love, is that of the Blessed Virgin Mary – the mother of our Savior.  If there was ever a mother who had deep faith, hope and love…it’s Mary.  First, she said YES!  She didn’t have to trust God, but she did, and Jesus was born!  Pondering that thought alone is mind blowing. 

Throughout Lent I did a lot of thinking about her, as I always do.  I think of how she stayed right by Jesus as He carried the cross – as He was beaten – and as He was crucified and took His last breath.  We all weep over His agony and praise Him for His sacrifice.  He gave us a chance at eternal life!  We owe Him everything!  But at the same time, I can’t help but think of His mother’s agony as well. 

She once held that tiny baby boy and now had to watch as He was tortured to death.  Sometimes I just look at my babies and think of her pain.  What mother wouldn’t trade places with her son in a heartbeat?  What mother could watch that?  How is it that her sacrificial motherly love can be ignored?  Part of my sorrow is that the best mother in the history of the world has been forgotten by so many.  She wasn’t just an incubator.  Mary was REAL!  She’s not just a character added to the story.  She’s a real woman and real mother and really did exactly what she was asked to do, no matter how hard it was, because of her faith in her son - her Lord.  For the world!  For us!  Because God asked her to.

Mary, too, was given to us by the Lord to be an example.  The best example of a mother any of us could ever look to.  I’ve had so many times in my life when I see my children struggle or when I see them in pain and I want to come in and rescue them.  I used to do it all the time until my heart was changed.  Not only did it make the bad situation stop, but it made me their savior!  Rescuing feels good.  But is it good?  It makes us feel like we have purpose as a parent, but what about the purpose of the child?  What about the purpose of the struggle?  Mary could’ve stepped in at any time and saved Jesus from at least some pain, but she knew she couldn’t.  She didn’t have a self-centered spirit that would make the situation about her pain or her desire to rescue her son.  She saw outside of herself.  That’s the greatest love.  She let Him fulfill His purpose.  Wow!  To have that type of faith!

So as we were standing in church receiving a blessing, this all kept running through my mind and I bawled like a baby.  I couldn’t hold it back.  My children won’t save the world, but God has a special purpose for each them.  How can I be a mother like Mary?  How can I nurture them and help protect their special purpose?  How can I avoid being a self-centered mother who swoops in and saves the day, which would give me instant gratification and bring me glory, but rob them of their self-respect and dignity?  How??

More tears!  Why did God pick me?  What did He see in me?  Why have I been so blessed with these babies?  How do I keep from disappointing God – myself – my husband – these children?  How do I do it?  TEARS!!!  I can’t do it without God’s help.  I need faith, hope and love!  More and more every day!  And I need to realize it’s not even about me.  I don’t need to be a superhero.  I don’t need to force them to “BE” anything.  They already ARE!  He has already given them everything they’ll need to fulfill their purpose.  I just need to love them purely and really give them to their Heavenly Father.  He can be trusted!  .

So when it comes to Mother’s Day…call me a party pooper, but I still can’t find it in me to get all crazy about this “holiday” or most others.   My children didn’t ask for life.  They don’t owe me praise.   They’re not expected to spoil me or lavish me with gifts.  And I’m not taking a day of my life to gift them with a big bouquet of pout wrapped with a giant guilt bow if I don’t get extra attention.  My children are wonderful children who spend 365 days a year striving to be good people.  They, and my husband, make motherhood possible!  We’re all in this together.  It’s not about mother or father or child…we’re a family!  EVERY day!

We struggle and fight and learn and move on.  We laugh and love and enjoy each other.  Things are incredibly hard and frustrating then they’re calm and easy.  It’s constant.  But as long as I can say…with each day we grow closer to each other and closer to God…I’m the happiest girl alive.

I pray that I never let my selfishness come between my children and me; that I never ignore them; that I never try to make them something they’re not; that I never see them as my property; that I never expect them to “owe me” for a life they didn’t ask for; that I’m always there to lean on when they need to know they’re dearly loved; that I'm there to support them through every stage of life - especially if they become a parent and need a mother more than ever; that I have wisdom to share that stays with them a lifetime; that I can stand back and let them struggle when a struggle is what they need; that I can emerge from the emotional cave I hide in to escape my own hurt, and love them with my words, my deeds, my hugs, my gifts and my time.  Mostly, I pray that I can openly show them my own faith and love for Jesus and that it radiates so they know the Lord is real – and He’s really here with us.

Thank you, Lord, for choosing me!