Pearls

You know all of those really hard lessons in life that we all learn in our own time?  Well, "my own time" has been holding strong for a while.  Thankfully I've had a breakthrough to push me to the other side of this latest emotional and spiritual growth phase.

I realized that I give my heart away too freely.  My desire to bond usually outweighs my common sense and intuition.  I share my personal faith, experiences, lessons, feelings, fears, doubts...just to be disregarded, laughed at, talked about and looked down on.  Time and time again, I end up feeling abandoned, broken and confused at the hands of people I trusted.  I guess betrayed might be a good word too.

I have given them permission to do this.  This isn't a healthy way to live.

Trust needs to be earned, and friendship needs trust.  This doesn't happen over night.

I'll continue to love, and open my life to the friends I meet, but the things I hold sacred will be kept close to my heart -- guarded -- and I'll share them only with those who seek to find them.  I'll learn to enjoy being a mystery.

"Do not give what is holy to dogs, or throw your pearls before swine, lest they trample them underfoot, and turn and tear you to pieces.  Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and the one who knocks, the door will be opened. - Matthew 7:6-8